judas

I wonder what Judas was thinking.

Did he know his betrayal would lead to death?
Did he know at the beginning the final result of his road?
Did he think the authorities would flog Jesus,
just to get him back into line a little bit,
and then release him?

Could he have ever truly grasped the depth of the role he would play in God’s eternal plan?

Part of me thinks the betrayal of Judas wasn’t quite so sinister as we often believe.
Part of me wants to think that Judas thought it wouldn’t be “that bad”.

But at the core I am troubled
because my betrayal of Jesus
sometimes seems very innocent.

When I betray him
it doesn’t seem “that bad.”

And I wonder
if that’s what
Judas thought too.

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